STRANGE TALK

My family laugh when they hear me still using some of the old fashioned expressions my grandmother used, so what else could I do but turn it into a poem.

GRANDMA-SPEAK

When Grandma doesn’t agree with something,

she shouts:

         Fiddlesticks or what a lot of balderdash!

___

If she gets a fright from a big hairy spider,

Grandma pulls a face and says:

         Ooh, that gives me the colly-wobbles!

I’m not always sure what she means

but it makes me laugh.

___

Yesterday, I told her my best friend broke her arm.

Grandma exclaimed:

         Crikey Dick!

___

When I told her someone found a Python

In their welly-boot she said:

         What a load of balderdash!

(I don’t think she believed me.)

___

Once I heard her say a bad word and then

she giggled and said:

         Oops, pardon my French.

___

Whenever Grandma is getting ready to go out,

she’ll say:

         Now then, where are my whatnots,

         and my thingamabobs?

I don’t really know what they are,

but Grandma knows.

___

If she asks me a question and I take a while

to reply she’ll say:

         Did you hear me, or has the cat got your tongue?

___

When someone asks how she’s getting along,

Grandma will say:

         All tickety-boo thank you!

___

And then she waves and says:

         Toodle-pip.

(Which, in old fashioned Grandma-speak means: goodbye.)

___

These are just some of the strange things

my Grandma says.